Santa Claus is moving to Siberia

Santa Claus lives at the North Pole, and scientists say that the North Pole is moving so... счастливого Рождества!

Magnetic north, the point on the planet’s surface toward which your conventional compass points, is created by the churning of molten metal in Earth’s core, which creates huge electrical currents to produce the magnetic field.

Commenting on the freshly-released magnetic north pole data, Dr. Ciaran Beggan, a geophysicist and geomagnetic specialist from the British Geological Survey’s Edinburgh office, told FT that although the movement of the pole has been “much faster” since the 1990s “than at any time for at least four centuries,” scientists “really don’t know much about the changes in the core that’s driving it.”

With the pole passing the Greenwich meridian and continuing its race east, humanity is entering the unknown, scientifically speaking, since, from the time records of the magnetic north pole’s position have been kept starting in the 16th century, the pole had drifted around the Canadian Arctic.

 The speed of the shift is expected to slow down, scientists say. But it has been moving between 40km and 55km annually.  No one appears to know where it will end up, or even if it will stop moving at all.

Does this all this have geopolitical implications? Of course it does.  Because? You guessed it--climate change.

The melting of the Arctic ice will have not only environmental impacts but geopolitical implications too. It will likely reveal enormous oil and gas reserves. And the Northern Sea Route now emerging is a transport corridor with huge commercial and military potential, shortening the route from Asia to Europe by 35-40 percent in comparison with the route via the Indian Ocean and the Suez Canal.

Few investors are currently looking for new resources very far north but as the ice melts, more and more energy companies are considering their options. Meanwhile, just this summer Venta Maersk became the first commercial container ship to complete a successful trip from Vladivostok to St Petersburg along the Northern Sea Route. Earlier in the year, Russian gas company Novatek shipped a cargo of LNG to China, taking just 19 days instead of the usual 35 that the Suez route takes. Navigable seas mean that Russia can export its own LNG much more easily and thus unlock supplies from its remote Siberian fields. This in itself is an immense economic opportunity for Moscow.

Climate change also means that the navigation period is getting longer. And for colder times Russia has an impressive fleet at its disposal: 40 icebreakers, including nuclear ones. Nuclear icebreakers are superior to their diesel-powered counterparts: they can cut through much thicker ice and are easier to manage as they do not need refuelling in the inaccessible north.

Russia is not alone in the Arctic, of course. The United States, Canada, Norway, Denmark, Sweden, Finland, and Iceland all have territory that lies within the Arctic Circle. Yet other countries beyond these would like a piece of the pie, arguing that the Arctic belongs to nobody and that it is a “global commons.” China – nowhere near the Arctic – declared itself a “polar superpower” in 2014. In 2018 it issued its Arctic Policy, in which it vows to pursue its interests in the region. China is now investing in its fleet of icebreakers and intends to cooperate to build a “polar silk road.”

This makes perfect sense. Russia would like nothing better than to control the North Pole and annex Santa's workshop. Everyone knows that while Santa's workshop is at the North Pole and technically independent, he's outsourced actual manufacturing to China.

China just wants to make sure that any trade agreement they agree to will protect their trade route to Santa's workshop. Otherwise Russia, their centuries-long perennial rival to the north will gain total control of the Yuletide commercial enterprise that everyone's compass points to. We will all have to say 'Merry Christmas!" in Russian, or "счастливого Рождества!"

Palate Cleanser: Interstellar object to enter our solar system, come close to Earth

A big object from another star system has been making its way towards our little corner of the Milky Way. It's been on its way since before we were even here. So... Why are we just learning about this now? And why did we have to wait for a British tabloid to alert us when NASA has known about it since August?

A MYSTERIOUS object hurtling towards our Solar System from deep space has been photographed by scientists. ...

Discovered in August, Borisov has travelled at least 7trillion miles to get here and will make its close approach with Earth next month.

Experts captured a closeup of the object on Sunday using a telescope at the Keck Observatory in Hawaii.

The image, taken by Yale University scientists, showed the comet surrounded by a bright white glow. ...

Made up of ice and other debris crumbling from Borisov's main body, the ghostly tail stretches a staggering 100,000 miles long.

That makes it longer than 12 Earths stacked side by side behind the comet.

"It's humbling to realise how small Earth is next to this visitor from another solar system," said Yale scientist Dr Pieter van Dokkum.

Maybe all this impeachment nonsense is just a false flag operation. It's meant to distract us from what could be the end of everything. A dozen Earths stacked side by side is YUUUGE. It is supposed to pass about 190 million miles away, or only about twice the distance between Earth and the Sun.

But what if NASA is off a few compass points on this thing's trajectory. Humans aren't very good at predicting the ultimate path of earthly phenomena. Hurricanes, for example. Those things only have two dimensions to their trajectory. 

Yikes:

Despite numerous attempts to study Borisov, scientists remain clueless as to what it is. Many speculate the distant mass is a comet. ...

According to prominent astronomer Dr Seth Shostak, 76, we can't say for sure Borisov is not an alien probe sent to study our planet.

"We can't rule out that this is an interstellar probe," Dr Shostak, a senior astronomer at the SETI Institute in California, told The Sun in September.

"If we get a closeup look, we may well see it has a metal exterior with portholes and little green faces looking out at us.

"However, I would bet next month's pay cheque this is a comet."

Well... I hope he's right but if he's wrong, next month's payday might never come, so...

Heh.

That moment when you realize you're going to the Belk Bowl, not the Sugar Bowl

There comes a time in every football season when the player realizes that not all of his hopes and dreams will come true this year. You've worked hard. You've had some success. There are many positive takeaways. But that dream of dreams; the hope that in the end you are alone at the top of them all... Not this time. No, you will not stand as the undisputed champions.

Big Kat Bryant “injury.” #AuburnVsLSU pic.twitter.com/Y5nniXOG62

— Creg Stephenson (@CregStephenson) October 26, 2019

Facebook wants you to know that the Babylon Bee might be a humor site

Babylon Bee is a hilarious humor website with a conservative tilt. It's like the Onion, which kinda leans left. But Facebook wants you to know this. As if you're too stupid to figure this out by yourself.

Bridge Economics in Alabama

There are three things certain in life: Death, taxes and the determination of people to avoid both.

Yes, this is going to be a snarky post with a little good ol' smart-assery. Hey... this stuff needs to be said and I have the un-buffered medium with which to say it.

Remember: I am not opposed to tolling as a concept for financing projects with the demonstrated economic benefits needed to support it. I am opposed to projects that do not have the economic benefits that the toll seeks to monetize. Ramming infeasible projects through just because you can is a recipe for economic disaster. Bad tax policy has a bad habit of making bad things happen. Duh.

Tolling defenders claim that the toll is not a tax--you can simply use another route to make the trip. This makes about as much sense as saying sales taxes aren't taxes because you can simply choose not to eat. Or not to wear clothes. Or not to use deodorant. Or not take your anti-psychotic medication. You can choose to be hungry, naked, smelly and crazy and go tax free, right? Your choice.

Come on, folks. If the government makes you pay for the privilege of doing something, it's a tax.

From an economics perspective, a tax and a toll evoke the same response in how businesses and consumers behave in the marketplace. For consumers, the cost is a new item in their budget constraint. To the extent feasible the consumer will avoid paying it and will forego buying something else to pay what cannot be avoided. For businesses, the full tax burden will be added to the cost of the goods sold and the owners will absorb the risk of reduced sales as a result.

A toll and a tax are interchangeable in a model of any economy burdened by either.

So, henceforth this space will use the term "tax" when referring to the cost burden of this project. When you correct the terminology you change the narrative.

"Toll" is a four-letter word.

Even famous people avoid taxes. We're not famous here, but we have our ways.

Under current Alabama law, anyone aged 19 and over can buy a car without being required to simultaneously register the vehicle with the state. This is because Alabama law requires car owners to provide proof of liability insurance when registering their vehicle. Not surprisingly, cars are cheap in Alabama and they're easy to obtain. Look around -- $99 sign and drive (SAD) car dealerships are thriving from one end of the state to another. They don't care about your credit and they might not even check to make sure your driver's license is valid.

Those cars will become very popular if the Mobile River Bridge & Bayway project is built as a taxed route. No tag means no tax.

Alabama drivers are also notorious for failing to renew their vehicle registration, and part of that is because they have also failed to renew their liability insurance. For many, paying the first period's insurance premium and defaulting on the plan is part of the SAD game. But the state still has a name and address for that tag, expired or not. That tag promptly disappears.

This will also be a popular choice among commuters in Mobile and Baldwin Counties, especially among lower income folks. These are the people for whom a new $90 monthly tax has crowded the budget constraint.  Do they renew registration and insurance? Do they look for work in a place with no transportation tax? Do they take a look-see at what others are doing to avoid the tax?

We can also reasonably expect the emergence of a black market dealing in fake or stolen license tags and stolen or hacked electronic transponders. Craigslist and similar sites will surely have any of these on offer.

Tough choices will be made by consumers and businesses and none of them will be beneficial to the revenues of the tax collector.

The ALDOT/FHWA team has decreed that the number of invalid tags using their project will amount to about 5%, and that average weekday traffic on the 2030 established and taxed project will be about 70,000 vehicles. Doing some math gives us approximately 3,500 tax violators per weekday.

If we conservatively assume 48 4.5 day work weeks, we could see 756,000 accused tax cheats every year.

Goat Hill has a plan for all these tax cheats. Alabama Senate Bill 347 flew through the 2019 legislative session, giving the state the power to assess administrative fees on unpaid tax violators; to non-renew vehicle registration of vehicles for failure to pay a tax violation and assessed administrative fees; and to further provide reciprocal agreements with other states or jurisdictions that have also pursued the madness of directly taxing drivers.

What percentage of the 756,000 tax cheats will bite the bullet and pay up? Half, maybe?

That leaves the other half as unrepentant tax cheats in the eyes of the pointy heads in Monkeytown. They are coming after you, you rebellious Gulf Coastians.

This is going to be our administrative and judicial nightmare:

• There won't be enough local yokels or state troopers on the road to pull over and either ticket or tow the tax dodgers. 
• There won't be enough room in the impound lots for tax dodging vehicles to be held pending resolution. Towing companies will feast on the carnage.
• Traffic court dockets will be jam packed with transportation tax dodgers. Our municipal and district court systems will have much less docket space for the real public safety threats like DUIs, reckless drivers, scene leavers and drug traffickers. Real bad guys will get away.
• What will be done with the people who are on their third or fourth tax cheat citation? Jail them?
• Vehicle registrations will plummet while $99 SAD auto sales will be steady or climbing.
• There will be thousands more unregistered and uninsured vehicles on our roadways every year. This is a serious threat to the personal and economic well-being of every safe driver on the road.
• People will inevitably lose their cars and will also lose their jobs. Another $99 SAD?
• Traffic on the tax-free route will skyrocket and traffic on the taxed route will drop. 
• The Africatown Community will be swamped with tax-avoiding but otherwise decent and courteous drivers on the tax free route.
• The taxed route operator's revenues will suffer, leading to an inevitable increase in the tax rate. The increased tax rate will then drive even more consumers to either constrain their other spending or (more likely) join the growing hordes of tax cheats.
• The economic output of Mobile and Baldwin Counties will drop. Home prices will fall. Sales tax collections will contract.
• The Alabama Gulf Coast will be less competitive in recruiting new business. Who wants to locate in an area with depressed personal income, slumping housing prices and higher-than-average unemployment?

This has a very good chance to be the economic picture of the Alabama Gulf Coast in about 10 years, if the MRB&B project is built as planned. 

It doesn't have to be this way. If the ALDOT and FHWA team go back to the drawing board, they can develop an economically feasible plan.  That plan would likely follow the lead of the 2014 EIS, which never recommended taxing the plan's users. That plan would also seriously consider the economic effects of hurricane and storm damage risk. Don't hide behind a leeway-laden standards recommendation. Don't fearfully try to design away 100% of the risk posed by an improbable storm event occurring with an unlikely sea level rise. Instead, compute the expected annual risk of a wide array of alternatives and seek the plan that best balances cost with risk reduction benefits.

The only other alternative is the no-build alternative. The people of the Alabama Gulf Coast are used to storms and hurricanes. We're used to the occasional weekday traffic jams on the Bayway. We know better than to try making an optional Bayway trip on check-in days during the summer tourist season. 

We're ok with it as is.

Ok, vegans. Your move.

I’m just gonna leave this palate cleanser right here, y’all.

Ok... So i't’s a palate complicator.

h/t to Jazz at HotAir.com.

You hate Gary Danielson because he’s your DADDY

Face the mirror and face the truth. You hate the esteemed, accomplished and popular CBS Color Analyst because he knows more about football than you ever dreamed about knowing. And you will read this blog post because you know every word of it is true.

Gary Danielson is the snide wingman at the bar with you, pointedly explaining why your hairline is the reason why the hot chick across the room isn’t interested in you. He’s the catty tagalong girl who doesn’t know when to STFU about the outfit you spent two hours putting together, wondering loud enough for everyone to know that the reason Mr. Right ain’t looking this way is because… well…

The biggest beef you have with Gary’s commentary is that he says exactly what you don’t want to hear, right when your team is sucking before your very eyes. Your Heisman Trophy Quarterback  just threw an interception and Gary says, “boy, he really missed the read on the Safety playing deep.” Your team’s defense is defending the run like the Convent of Mercy and he says, “wow… they can’t stop anyone between the the tackles today.” Your team has the ball on their 40, there’s 2:20 left in the first half and your coach won’t call one of his three timeouts and try to at least get in field goal range. Gary asks the question that’s in your own bewildered mind: “What in the world is he thinking?”

Meanwhile, your team’s opponent can do no wrong today. In fact, he says in that casual, condescending voice of his that “they’ve been doing this to your team since so-and-so stepped on the scene in 2007.”

Gary, Jedi Master of colorful annoyance doesn’t stop there, either. Right after the 3,279th commercial break in the 3rd quarter, he comes back with the Telestrator. Then,  he finds the last three plays that drove you nuts and he diagrams precisely what your team did wrong. He carefully explains what they need to do to stop sucking, and then you throw things at the television because he’s right.

Here’s another thing about Gary. If you’re an Alabama fan, you think he hates Bama. If you’re a fan of any other team, you think he loves Alabama and secretly has a man crush on Nick Saban. This facet is the grandest illustration of why Gary is the perfect color commentary dude for when your team is losing to Alabama or isn’t winning big enough yet.

I know fans that have picked up the phone to call the police and file harassment charges against Gary. I know fans that have logged onto GoFundMe to start raising money to buy out his contract. I know fans that have put a piece of paper on the television screen so they don’t have to look at his face. I even know fans that have turned down the volume on the television broadcast and turned on the homer radio broadcast so they can hear what they want to hear instead of hearing what they need to hear.

He is the greatest color commentary prick of all time and he’s trying to help you, not hurt you. It’s true. And you know it.

What you have to do now is not only accept it, but embrace it. Gary Danielson is your Daddy. Don’t hate him for it.

Democrat anger grows as Honduran refugees’ march takes too long to reach U.S.

A fresh new wave of Central American immigrants has just crossed the Guatemalan border on their way to seek asylum in the United States. The development comes as Democrat officials express anger and frustration at the slow pace of the caravan.

“They started their journey too late, and they’re taking too long,” said one Democrat National Committee Member who asked not to be named. “The midterm election is only three weeks away, and they still have about 1,000 miles to go.”

“We’re going to have a hard time getting them all to the right checkpoints,” said another unnamed Democrat communications strategist.  “Certain checkpoints are better than others because they have better camera angles and create the best optics for the last advertisements we intend to run just before November 6.“

Democrats are watching summer poll leads evaporate after they overplayed their hand in dragging out the Brent Kavanaugh Supreme Court confirmation process. They believe images of refugee women and children crying will tug at enough American heartstrings to give them the election boost needed to take control of the House of Representatives and Senate.

“We actually gave the caravan organizers more than enough time to get their people moving soon enough to get here in time for the refugees to vote in Texas and Arizona, but those lazy sots waited weeks to get on the road and get here by Halloween. This was a big, expensive effort to sway the election,” said the DNC member.

“This refugee delay probably cost us the Senate,” said the strategist. “And it could cost us the House too, if they don’t get a move on.”

Republicans declined comment on the record when asked about their opponents’ plan to use the refugees as campaign material. “We have no words,” said a White House officials.

Drudge: Trolling Democrats since 1995

Actually, the headline is not fair. Matt and Charles have been trolling everyone since 1995. Democrats are just much easier.

Non-Sports: Headline of the Year

We see you, mischievous copy editor.

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Newspaper mistakenly puts Bama in today’s NFC Championship Game

The Chattanooga Times Free Press print edition has a rather interesting editorial mistake.

Wishful thinking or a Freudian Slip? You decide.

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Snarky Smack: What Alabama’s Championship Parade Will NOT Look Like

At today’s press conference announcing the early draft departures of DJ Fluker, Eddie Lacy and Dee Milliner, Coach Nick Saban also announced that the Fan Appreciation Day and celebration for the 2012 champions will be held in Tuscaloosa on January 19.

Festivities will include a parade and celebration at Sewell-Thomas Stadium.

You may remember the last time a “championship” parade was held in this state.It was the Peoples National Championship parade held in January 2005 in Auburn. Complete with John Deere farm implements, hay bales and and a marching band.

I’m betting that next Saturday’s will look NOTHING like this.

And the championship trophy won’t be made of plastic, either.

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Auburn’s Co-Defensive Coordinators Held West Virginia to 70 Points in the Orange Bowl

AUBURN--Charlie Harbison, an experienced coach and highly regarded recruiter who has spent the last 18 years coaching in the Southeastern and Atlantic Coast Conferences, has been named co-defensive coordinator at Auburn, head coach Gus Malzahn announced Sunday. Harbison, who will coach defensive backs while serving as Ellis Johnson's right-hand man on defense, spent the previous four seasons in a similar capacity at Clemson.

"Charlie is an outstanding coach and recruiter and we're excited to have him join our staff," Malzahn said. "He's very familiar with Coach Ellis Johnson, having coached together on two different staffs, which will be a tremendous asset to our defense. He is a true professional and one of the class guys in college coaching."

Since the 2009 season, Auburn posted the worst four year stretch in defensive performance in modern program history.

It looks like new head coach Gus Malzahn wants to continue that record-breaking streak, and has hired two men responsible for holding West Virginia under 100 points in the 2012 Orange Bowl.

The Bama Nation approves.

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In the middle of a coaching search, Auburn has come up with a new fight song

Seems fitting.

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Early exit polling data are in, and…

We have some exclusive shocking news to share with IBCR fans nationwide.

• 100% of those who entered the polling booth exited.
• In the state of Alabama, 54% identify themselves as bammers. Barney gets 27% and the other 19% are fans of Princess Vespa, daughter of Roland, King of the Druids.
• A majority of those not declaring themselves Bama fans believe Nick Saban grows football players like Saruman grew orcs in the bowels of Isengard.
• Among Auburn fans, a stark minority voted for retaining current head football coach Gene Chizik. Only 28% think Frank gets another chance to wear the barber shirt on the sidelines.
• Nationally, @LSUFreek is the favorite farker on the innerwebs.
• @Banditref is a rising favorite parody filmmaker among a solid majority of voters.
• Gary Danielson is tolerated by a plurality of voters. Both Verne Lundquist and Tim Brando are clowns.
• Alabama is a solid favorite to repeat as BCS Champions in a historic run.
• However, if the BCS included a game of Quiddatch, Chip Kelly’s Oregon Ducks win in a landslide.
• Our polling analysis indicates that Anakin Skywalker wouldn’t have turned to the dark side if Sara Jean Underwood played Padme.

Go vote. And if you bump into an exit pollster, tell them you voted for Dave because he is da bombz.

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Oh no, LSU fans. You didn’t…

May I remind you corn dogs that Harvey Updyke is still free, still crazy and still lives in southern Louisiana.

So…

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These are getting fun: The Dark Hog Rises Video!

We can only hope that the 2012 college football season will have lots more of these Dark Knight Trailer parodies. Here's the Arkansas version, y'all.

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Video: The Dark Chiz Rises (cackle)

For your viewing pleasure, ladies and gentlemen.

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The Bandit Ref: A Tribute to Auburn’s Historic Win Over ULM (chortle)

My friend the Bandit Ref has a stirring tribute to Auburn’s upset of the mighty Louisiana Monroe Warhawks.

This… is… GOLD.

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Extra point: If you haven’t seen it yet, check out his visual critique of the replacement referees in the NFL.

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Even under a bomb threat, LSU fans never lose their sense of humor

Seen across town from the LSU campus, where a Monday morning bomb threat cancelled classes, postponed Les Miles weekly press conference and cancelled football practice.

Helmet tap to Throw the Flag.

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