“They started their journey too late, and they’re taking too long,” said one Democrat National Committee Member who asked not to be named. “The midterm election is only three weeks away, and they still have about 1,000 miles to go.”
“We’re going to have a hard time getting them all to the right checkpoints,” said another unnamed Democrat communications strategist. “Certain checkpoints are better than others because they have better camera angles and create the best optics for the last advertisements we intend to run just before November 6.“
Democrats are watching summer poll leads evaporate after they overplayed their hand in dragging out the Brent Kavanaugh Supreme Court confirmation process. They believe images of refugee women and children crying will tug at enough American heartstrings to give them the election boost needed to take control of the House of Representatives and Senate.
“We actually gave the caravan organizers more than enough time to get their people moving soon enough to get here in time for the refugees to vote in Texas and Arizona, but those lazy sots waited weeks to get on the road and get here by Halloween. This was a big, expensive effort to sway the election,” said the DNC member.
“This refugee delay probably cost us the Senate,” said the strategist. “And it could cost us the House too, if they don’t get a move on.”
Republicans declined comment on the record when asked about their opponents’ plan to use the refugees as campaign material. “We have no words,” said a White House officials.
Auburn University today said that it was taking a “bold step” to protect current Offensive Coordinator Gus Malzahn from being “raided by rogue programs searching for coaches,” like Ohio State, and named the offensive wizard its Head Coach in Waiting.
