Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Stop trying to rescue your wet phone with dry rice

It doesn't work. Well, it might. But there are better options and in fact, plain white rice was dead last among all other options tried. 

Uncooked White Rice Ain't Cutting It
After 24 hours, the sponges were weighed again to see how much weight had been lost. And would you believe it—according to the results, uncooked white rice placed dead last in effectiveness as a drying agent. Here's the list, from best to worst.
Open-air sponge - 7.6 mL lost
Silica gel - 6.1 mL lost
Cat litter - 5.5 mL lost
Instant couscous - 5.0 mL lost
Instant rice - 5.0 mL lost
Instant oatmeal - 5.0 mL lost
Uncooked white rice - 4.0 mL lost
Sealed-container sponge - 0.7 mL lost
Cat litter, instant couscous, instant rice, and instant oatmeal all performed better than uncooked white rice—everyone's favorite damn drying agent.

I've been trying to tell people this for years. I used to work with high end GPS equipment. More than a decade ago, every time our equipment got wet it was opened and placed in front of an ordinary table fan to air dry.

In the real tech industry wet equipment is disassembled, wiped with rubbing alcohol and then air dried.

Look again at the list above. What came in first as the best way to dry out something that was sopping wet? Sense a pattern?

This information is not new.

The same people who proved that rice is next to useless for drying out your phone (or your vape, or your tablet, or your V/R gear, or...) have some tips on maybe saving it.

So, what really happened when you put your soggy iphone in a bag of China Doll and it got "fixed?"

I'll let you in on a secret. First, you have to be virtuous. It does not work for the wicked. Ever. 

Second, you have to say a little heartfelt prayer over your nearly dead device. Then you leave it in the rice overnight.

The Rice Fairy comes in the wee hours and takes some of the rice to cook for her little Rice babies. In her gratitude she waves her magic rice wand and restores your phone. Amen.

Monday, January 15, 2018

(USA TODAY Sports Images)

After a great victory, there is nothing sweeter than relishing the abject misery of your opponents. Their suffering nourishes your soul. Their anguish warms your heart. Their tears satisfy that thirst for the sweet nectar of success.

Remember when they said this?

 ‘Bama wrapped up the regular season 11-1, although it ended with a 26-14 clunker at Auburn in the Iron Bowl seven days ago. The Tide fell from No. 1 to No. 5 in the latest College Football Playoff rankings, so getting upset by the Tigers — they were playing as well as any program in the country at the time — wasn’t an eliminator.

However, with Championship Week now in the rearview mirror, Alabama doesn’t deserve to be part of the Final Four.
Or, how about when they trotted out this line?

 There’s already a problem that a four-team tournament for the championship is based on judges, as if this was the Miss Universe pageant. But at this point, it’s a total fail and a massive issue for the entire College Football Playoff process if the committee puts in Alabama just because its name is Alabama.


Oh, and this poor fool:

“If you stripped away the name ‘Alabama’ right now, take it out of the picture, is that a resume that they’ve built this year that’s top-four worthy? Hell no, Colin!” he said. “Their resume is barely better than Wisconsin’s.”

Remember when yer mama taught you to ignore everything someone says after the "but?"

I've heard many variations of the following:

"Alabama's great but blah blah blah blah blah blah blah."
All of the talking heads in the media are now still chugging from that big stinkin' cup of STFU.

Just before Auburn's epic choke against UCF in the What's Your Name Again Bowl, I had the pleasure of giggling through the Tigers broadcast team giving their playoff picks. Those geniuses consensus-picked Oklahoma vs Clemson with Oklahoma winning it all.

Bama vs Georgia for the title sticks in Auburn fans like a flaming arrow they can't reach to remove. Bama winning it all is that arrow catching their butts on fire, and you're the only bucket of water around.


Savor this win, Bama fans. They don't get much sweeter, and neither do the tears of the vanquished.

Friday, January 12, 2018

Obligatory "Alabama - We Are The Champions" video post

This video has gone viral, so who am I to stand in its way of winning the internet with winning the championship?

We're going to enjoy this.

But what we're really going to enjoy is watching these Freshmen do this again and again.

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Yeah, this really is how I watched the National Championship Game

This really was the Classic for the Ages that was mentioned last week. And these really were the two best teams in the country.

True to form, Georgia fans are whining about the officiating.

Bama fans, like me, are just glad to 'suspire' today. Yes, suspire. It means to exhale slowly, with a sigh of great relief. Funnymaine nails it with this video.

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Wrap-up: Dabo's best coaching job and media whines again

"For now, most of the noise is coming from offended pundits who can’t stand the thought of the College Football Playoff setting up the exact scenario it was designed to prevent. And for those upset about an all-SEC title game, they are basically admitting they don’t really want the best teams. Instead, they want conference welfare, where lesser teams get picked because it’s 'fair.'"