Friends, Penn Staters, football fans, lend me your ears; 
I come to bury JoePa, not to praise him. 
The evil that men do lives after them; 
the good is oft interred with their bones; 
so let it be with JoePa. The noble Trustee 
hath told you JoePa was ambitious. 
If it were so, it was a grievous fault, 
and grievously hath JoePa answer'd it. 
Here, under leave of the Trustee and the rest-- 
for the Trustee is an honorable man. 
So are they all, all honorable men-- 
come I to speak in JoePa's funeral. 
He was my hero, faithful and just to me: 
but the Trustee says he was ambitious; 
and the Trustee is an honorable man. 
He hath brought many trophies home to Happy Valley. 
Whose ransoms did the libraries fill-- 
Did this in JoePa seem ambitious? 
When that the poor have cried, JoePa hath wept; 
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff. 
Yet the Trustee says he was ambitious 
and the Trustee is an honorable man. 
You all did see that on the Lupercal 
I thrice presented him a Pro Combat Crown, 
Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition? 
Yet the Trustee says he was ambitious 
and, sure, he is an honorable man. 
I speak not to disprove what the Trustee spoke, 
But here I am to speak what I do know. 
You all did love him once, not without cause: 
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him? 
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts (named Sandusky), 
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me; 
My heart is in the coffin there with JoePa, 
And I must pause till it come back to me.
And who is the real Trustee?
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