Jeff Long must hire Mike Shula, and do it yesterday.
The man has been down this path before. He knows how to step in after spring training and take over a team. Not only that, he’s followed in the steps of a philanderer who embarrassed himself and his employer. He’s been there, done that and got the T-shirt. Aside from that no-brainer, Here are ten other reasons why the only logical, sane and obvious choice for the job is former Alabama head coach Mike Shula.
10. Pay no attention to his deer-in-the-headlights performance at his introductory press conference in 2003. The man does coach speak like no other and will articulately explain how Arkansas is “almost there.”
9. Joe Kines is just what the Arkansas defense needs to step up to the next level. Ya just gotta stop that little inside trout.
8. Bob Connelly—aka “Bucket Step Bob”—can come in and immediately show the offensive line how to move their feet and get the hell out of the way. No one bullrushes anymore, right?
7. He’s a players’ coach. He only suspends them when they’ve been really, really bad and gives out ice cream cones after they serve suspensions against lollipop opponents.
6. Dude, have you seen his wife? Jessica Dorrell is small time compared to Shari Shula. He’ll keep his britches on.
5. Knile Davis. Jumbo package. Can’t miss. They’ll have a lot of success with that formation. Trust me on this.
4. He is the son of legendary Dolphins coach Don Shula. No further qualifications needed.
3. He will take the Razorbacks to glorious places. Like Hawai’i. And, Shreveport.
2. Arkansas won’t have to worry about beating Auburn or LSU. It will lose with class, but get its signature wins against Florida.
1. Only Mike Shula and Gerry DiNardo can pave the way for Nick Saban to take over. And Gerry DiNardo ain’t walking through that door.