Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Kickin’ it at kiosks in malls

Dammit. Friends of the Program scooped me. What’s worse, they got it first AND got it right.

But I got it better!

If you’re going to claim that you’ve obtained a picture of the kiosk in the center of the Tuscaloosa Mall, and you’re gonna claim that the photograph is slam dunk evidence that players knowingly traded signatures for like… 10 suits or something, wouldn’t you have someone check out the mall and compare it to the photograph? I mean, just to make sure it’s not another mall like… 45 miles away?

We did. IBCR’s crack team of photographic investigative journalists were on this case all afternoon and have produced shocking new evidence that Clay Travis wouldn’t know New York City if he bumped his head on the Golden Gate Bridge.

The allegedly incriminating photo:


A photo taken smack dab in the middle of University Mall in Tuscaloosa, compliments of @ChrisHillD28. Hmm. Something looks odd here, Watson. The lighting is different. The promenade looks smaller. The floor tile texture and layout looks… different.


Undeterred, IBCR had @NailPhyl drive all the way from IBCR HQ in Slap Out, Alabama to another large mall in that part of the state: the famed Riverchase Galleria Mall in suburban Birmingham. Guess what Nail Phyl found, and photographed:


Interesting floor pattern, eh? Here’s another shot from smack dab in the middle of University Mall Riverchase Galleria Mall in suburban Birmingham, 45 miles away from the kiosk that players should have been able to walk right by and see their jerseys on sale:


Yowsers. Look at that flooring! But wait! There’s more! Look at the kiosks! With green barn T-shirts for sale.

Nail Phyl refused to approach the kiosk in question for fear that the owner might have approached him to get signatures on some of the barn memorabilia. Nail Phyl is a person of high moral character and good judgment, and would never falsely or fraudulently manufacture evidence that gets Auburn in trouble.

We’re Bama fans. We don’t play that way.

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Hitting for the Cycle said...

Well done. Clay Travis is a blowhard. Like most people with two first names, he cannot be trusted.

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