Iron Bowl Week: The obligatory David Housel rant

It wouldn’t be right not to post this. It’s former Auburn AD ranting about the Iron Bowl rivalry. In it, he’s heard comparing a sports rivalry to the Vietnam War and drawing parallels between the University of Alabama and Nazi Germany.

No, really.

This is Little Brotheritis at it’s absolute creepiest.

Full transcript follows the clip.

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I, like you, have read everything, I’ve heard everything, and I’ve seen everything. Now the time has come, the time has come to decide who we are, what we are, and what we’re going to do.

You Alabama fans listening in to see what we’re saying, how we’re feeling, how we’re thinking – how about giving us a moment alone, just us Auburn people, so we can talk among ourselves. Would you do us that favor? We’d appreciate it. Take a break, go to the bathroom, get another beer, do whatever you want to do, I don’t care. Just give us Auburn people a moment alone.

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Well, now that we’re alone what do you think? Ah, I know they’re still there, I know they’re still there listening in on what we’re saying, but so be it. I’m not scared of them and you’re not scared of them either, not since coach dye came, none of us have been scared of them anymore, none of us. If they weren’t scared of us, they wouldn’t still be listening in and thinking we didn’t know they were there.

Funny thing is they probably thought we were stupid enough to think they would leave when we asked them to leave. They’re the ones with the problem, not us. In fact I want them to hear what we’re saying and what we’re talking about. I want them to know what we’re thinking, they need to know, and when they find out, they won’t sleep good tonight, tomorrow night, any night. We’re coming after their butt. We’re coming after them today, we’re coming after them tomorrow, we’re coming after them the day after tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that.

We will not rest, we won’t sleep, we will not be deterred until we reach our goal, and that goal is simply this: to paint this state – the entire state – not North Alabama, not South Alabama, not East Alabama, not West Alabama, the entire state, orange and blue. Now Terry Bowden and I didn’t always agree, and we didn’t always see eye to eye on everything, but we did agree on one thing. We might not get them, the Alabama mamas and papas, but we were going to get the sons and the daughters. We were going to get the children, and we are getting them. Birminghan was once their bastion, their home ground, their turf. Lookat the statistics. Statistics don’t lie. Birmingham and Jefferson County students are coming to Auburn as never before.

We’re winning the battle there, and we’re winning the battle everywhere else. Take a snapshot here, take a snapshot there and it might not be evident. But in your heart, in your heart of hearts, you know we’re winning the battle, and you know we’re winning the war. Where are their sons and daughters going to school? Think about your Alabama friends and the number of their children who are coming to Auburn. Inch by inch, person by person, child by child we’re winning the war. It might not be evident in every battle, and it may or may not be evident today, but we’re winning the war.

All we have to do is keep the faith and keep on fighting. Every day in every way in every arena. The future is ours. All we have to do is fight for it and take it. Keeping the faith, that’s the key. And I don’t want to get anybody mad, and I don’t want to offend anybody, but think about the Vietnam War. Think about it in the context of the Alabama-Auburn rivalry. Time and time again we Americans claimed victory. We read about it in the paper, we heard about it on television, we beat ourselves on the chest.

And what did it get us? In the little things and the hearts of the people? That’s where wars are won and lost, and we’re winning this war with Alabama, just as sure as you hear the sound of my voice, we’re winning it. You know it and they know it.

That’s what will keep them awake tonight, that’s what will keep them awake in the nights to come. Winston Churchill, he of the Auburn heart said it best, “Never, never, never give up. We will fight on the land, we will fight on the sea, we will fight in the air, we will fight until Hitler and his Nazis are driven from the face of the earth.”

Now I’m not comparing Alabama to Hitler and the Nazis. Not at all. There are many good Alabama people, and I have many good Alabama friends, at least a few, and I have great respect for them and their program for what they’ve accomplished down through the years. But this is not about them, this is about us: who we are, what we are, and what we are going to do.

We are going to fight them today, we are going to fight them tomorrow. We’re going to fight them every day and every way. We won’t win all the battles, but we’re going to win the war. You Alabama fans out there, still listening in, eavesdropping voyeurs that you are, lurking there in the deep, dark shadows of radioland, you can bank on it. We’re going to win the war. Remember Dunkirk, the gallant British army was virtually driven into the sea. That was but one battle. It was a long, long war as this has been, and will continue to be, a long, long war.

No, this is not about you. This is about us, the Auburn people. And this is a call to arms. Today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day after that, and the day after that. We will fight until victory is ours.

And as for today, Coach Jordan said it best, and that’s beat hell out of the University of Alabama. We will fight until the victory is ours. We may get knocked down, but we will not be knocked out. We will get up and fight again. We may occasionally be downhearted, but we will not be defeated. Never.

It is not in our nature, not in our makeup, it is not in our heart and it is not in our soul. Remember Goliath, remember the Roman Empire, remember Ozymandias. Learn from them, my Alabama friends. Learn from them and prepare to join them. No, Ozymandias was not Ozzie Nelson’s cousin.

Now go listen to Eli. He’s a good man, he’ll tell you who Ozymandias was. Back to you, Paul. Let’s get it on.

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