Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Nick Saban to Texas? Oh, wait…

image Sorry, rival SEC fans. DeLoss Dodds is tired of your endless Bunker rants and Tiger droppings about a pending retirement of Texas head coach Mack Brown.

He’s had it up to here [points to his forehead] of the appurtenant talk radio chatter that Mack is tired of the grind and wants to step aside.

He’s had quite enough of the cockamamie black helicopter nonsense about Nick Saban being in dire financial straits and wishing to get away from the pressure of coaching at Alabama. So much so, as the story goes, that he’s in line to replace the 14-year veteran head coach of the Texas Longhorns and take over a cushier, less pressure job in Austin.

How tired is the Texas athletic director of all this nonsense?

Dodds is extending Brown’s contract.


“I’m just tired of all the conversations (rumors about Brown’s retirement),” Dodds told the American-Statesman. “Continuity is of the essence. It’s more about stability than anything else.

“Mack’s comfortable with what he’s doing right now,” Dodds added. “I think he’s very comfortable. He’s enjoying it. I’ve been around him 14 years, and he seems to be into it. “Everything I know points to him being happy and wanting to do it for a while.”


That giant crunch you just heard was the sound of thousands of ankles breaking as rival fans jump off the “Saban leaving” bandwagon. Nick Saban’s not going anywhere. Mack Brown’s job is among the safest in the country. The seat’s so cold that Brown’s cheeks are turning blue and the faces of the famed insiders are turning red.

And the cockamamie stories about Saban’s finances and mental health are just so much bullshit, spread by people with a penchant for making things up as they go along and concocting stories so elaborate they’d have made Rube Goldberg blush in appreciation for their silliness.

Next up will be the clandestine connection between Saban, non-profit organizations and churches near Lake Burton, Georgia and how Saban will have to leave Tuscaloosa to cover his nefarious tracks. Why, this is so big that it’s too much for ordinary people to understand. Or something.

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1 comments:

justwondering said...

Where were any of the things you insinuated were being said about Saban published. I noticed you mentioned The Bunker and Tiger Droppings. I follow both of those pretty closely and I've never seen anything about any of this mentioned on either. I have noticed some people mention he may be leaving, but I assumed that was speculation on their part and nothing proven. Obviously, someone said something that upset you badly enough you felt the need to make up a story with a lame quote from Dodd that really says nothing. You said he was tired of people saying Saban had financial issues. I didn't see that in the quote from Dodd. Just wondering...

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