And this is one of those times.
Y’all know The Bunker as that message board where Auburn fans who are as crazy as a basketball bat go to conspire against Alabama and rant against that juggernaut across the state. But from time to time, absolute internet GOLD comes from that joint, and this is one for the ages.
Ok, so I live in Daphne in a subdivision called Dunmore off 181. And some genius thought that creating a forum for neighborhood members would be neato. I thought it was pretty funny. Basically just people complaining about new construction, other neighbors grass, etc. There were a couple of funny posts. One about the exploding stray cat population. Another, and this was my favorite:
"My husband & I walk our dogs daily around the back part of the neighborhood (behind the pond). There is a gentleman that we see from time to time. He is always eating oranges, smoking tons of cigs, and hiding behind a tree talking on his cell phone. He also wears jogging type clothing even though he is not a jogger. He has a middle eastern accent and is talking in a different language. I noticed that his car always has an out of town tag. He also parks (2 story house farthest in the back) where he can get in his car & out in a hurry. Just concerned that this gentleman maybe up to no good. Don't understand why he would have to hide in the woods to talk on his phone????"
Being the smart ass I am, I made up an account (username: Dunmost, which I thought was funny) and replied:
"Definitely a terrorist. He does, after all, have a Middle Eastern accent. You should totally call Homeland Security. Or, better yet, just text Seal Team 6 next time he's around. I'm sure they'll take him out real quick like."
I then also created a new topic about how we should create a neighborhood militia to battle the impending zombie apocalypse. I referenced a few of the sillier posts. I thought people would get a kick out of it. Now, understand, I did this this past December. It was the first post in months. So I go back today out boredom/curiosity. I see that my amazing, multi-paragraph post about the zombies is gone. My other post is still there.
So, I go to log back on and I'm told that I'm been banded. For, get this, ONE HUNDRED YEARS. Ha! Look, I know I'm an immature ass, but the douche who runs that board must have a stick way ole up the butt. I don't know if I was to send him an email and be really offended..or maybe over-the-top-apologetic? My other option is to create a new username (probably Dunmorer) and either decry the evil censorship on this site, maybe accuse them of being complicit with the government in covering up the impending zombie apocalypse. OR I could use Dunmorer to take the site of the moderator and post about how terrible that evil tramp Dunmost was.
Look...I obviously have too much time on my hands, I understand that. But any suggestions would be appreciated. Also, feel free to sign up for a name on OurDunmore.com. You just need an email address. No confirmation needed!
Be warned: Following that link is very much NSFW, as the Bunkerites have quite a bit of fun with a forum run by an anal rententive homeowner’s association leader who didn’t exactly think through the implications of opening it up for any and all to join.