Thursday, July 19, 2012

SEC Media Days: Alabama’s Draft Media Guide Covers

By: @LivingCrimson

The official 2012 Alabama Media Guide covers are outstanding. But what about the discarded proposals the public never sees?

A former employee of Bryant-Denny Stadium (and a big fan of the song “Take the Money and Run”) was kind enough to send us the alternative Tide covers, which were summarily rejected by the University’s marketing department.

We’re not sure why these covers didn’t make the final cut. As reigning national champs and card-carrying members of the SEC Rivalry Cabal, we think they’re pretty spiffy.

Unbuilt by Bama OleMiss final5

Trent Richardson became the first Tide player to win the Doak Walker Award in a season highlighted by his inhuman evasion of the entire Ole Miss defense. Now Trent is preparing for his first NFL game, while two-sport Senquez Golson (who before last season turned down $1.4 million from the Boston Red Sox) readies for another season in purgatory as a Rebel Black Bear. **No ankles were permanently harmed in the making of this picture.**

Unbuilt by Bama Auburn final5

Michael Dyer famously bragged before last year’s Iron Bowl: “This year we're not going to spot anybody 24. We're going to play Auburn football.” Alabama went to halftime with -- all together now -- 24 points, and went on to squash the everliving daylights out of Auburn with a final score of 42-14. Dyer is now an Arkansas State Red Wolf and may soon be transferring yet again. **One team reverted back to its tired old excuses in the making of this picture.**

Unbuilt by Bama LSU final5

In the rematch with LSU and with the National Championship on the line, the Alabama offense targeted CB “Honey Bragger” by throwing over his head and outplaying him physically. Tyrann Mathieu took to Twitter for his disappointed fans: “Can anyone bring up another game where you felt as if I was exposed beside the NC game! I didn't think so? That was one game, 4 catches 0TDs.” He left out the part about those catches making downs to set up field goals…and also being manhandled by Trent Richardson in the first Alabama vs. LSU game in Tuscaloosa. **One ego was crushed in the making of this picture.**

Unbuilt by Bama LSU Jeff final5

Alabama’s 14th national championship accompanied a 21-0 score in the Superdome on LSU’s home turf, the first ever shutout in BCS history. My LSU friend Carter “The Power” Bryant summed it up best:

“I could name more kinds of "Whoop-Ass" flavors the Crimson Tide opened up on January 9th than Bubba Blue could name kinds of shrimp in “Forrest Gump.” After the game, I saw the grounds crew of the Superdome having to scrub the chalk outlines of the LSU offensive line off the turf. Thank goodness the red confetti covered it quickly so it wouldn't be more evident.”

**One NFL career was thwarted in the making of this picture.**

I’d love to see your farked up Bama media covers. Hit me up on Twitter or Facebook. Roll Tide!