Harvey Updyke stupidly (and allegedly) poisons two famous trees and the national media goes ape$h!7. Brian Downing stupidly (and allegedly) teabags an unconscious LSU fan after the BCS Championship game, and the national media craps itself again.
Shawn Payton—not to be confused with Saints head coach Sean Payton—is an Auburn fan and a Detroit Lions fan who didn’t care about the fact that the Saints were beating the Lions in the wildcard playoff game at the Mercedes Benz Superdome.
So, he decided to make a phone call:
A few minutes after tight end Jimmy Graham caught a Drew Brees touchdown pass to extend the Saints lead to 24-14 in the third quarter, the Superdome's Gate F reception desk received a threatening call at 9:12 p.m., according to an FBI affidavit filed in federal court Wednesday.
"I will blow up your building," a man said after confirming that he had reached the Superdome, which was jammed with a capacity crowd of more than 73,000.
As the Saints continued lighting up the scoreboard, a second threatening call came in at 10:03 p.m., with a message intended for Saints coach Sean Payton, according to the affidavit by FBI agent Dawn Hofmann, a member of the agency's Joint Terrorism Task Force.
"Hi, I want you to relay a message to the sideline. If your stupid Southern team keeps winning, there will be reper...severe consequences. OK?" a man said after a failed Lions onside kick set the Saints up for a short touchdown drive that would ice the game.
Updyke’s alleged poisoning of the Toomer’s Corner trees will likely be tried as a felony, due largely to the righteous indignation of the media. Downing’s alleged sexual assault has also been characterized as a felony.
Poison trees and call a radio show to brag about it? Off to prison you go.
Do a stupid, inexcusable frat house prank and have it make YouTube? Off to prison you go.
Threaten to blow up a stadium with 75,000 people inside—more than a decade after 9/11—and the absolute worst you face is a year in jail. I guess terrorist threats don’t weigh as much as they used to.
When does the Superdome management and City of New Orleans apologize to this guy?
Where is the raging news media clamoring for this guy’s head?
Helmet tap to Throw the Flag.